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Review: Guardians Of The Galaxy #12

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Posted by: Timelord, Columnist
03/01/2014 - 3:22pm | Updated: 33 weeks 6 days Ago
Writer: 
Brian Michael Bendis,
Art: 
Sara Pichelli,
Cover: 
Sara Pichelli and Dale Keown,
Publisher: 
Marvel Comics
Price: 
$3.99
Release Date: 
February 26th, 2014

Just when I thought GotGINO couldn’t get any worse, Bendis steps up and pushes it down to rock bottom.

It’s very clear that Bendis doesn’t have any idea how to write cosmic in general and Star-Lord, Rocket, Groot, Drax, and Gamora in particular.  The Guardians are really just used as generic supporting characters for the X-Men – just as they’ve been used as generic supporting characters for the Avengers in several past issues.

With the exception of Rocket – whose rendering leaves much to be desired – Pichelli, Immonen, and Ponsor give us some pretty, colorful pictures that resemble the Guardians of the Galaxy of old (even though I still resent Star-Lord being de-aged by about 10 years).  Unfortunately, Bendis has extracted the heart and soul of the team.  It’s the perfect American product – all style and no substance.  It’s sad really.  Volume II of this book had the style and substance of greatness – but Alonso, Brevoort, and Bendis threw that away in favor of a “Guardians of the Galaxy in Name Only” Volume III made to appeal to children and Avenger-zombies/X-zombies with the mentality of children.  Unfortunately their strategy worked in terms of sales as the zombies keep buying it – so, sadly, we’re in for a lot more of this GotGINO because the exact wrong message is being sent to Marvel.  To them, the sales figures say that this is what comics buyers really want.  I say – it’s apparently what the zombies want – including the handful of cosmic-zombies who’ll buy anything with Guardians of the Galaxy smeared across the cover.  It isn’t what the true cosmic fans want.  Let’s hope that Bendis has to give GotG up to focus on Star Wars now that Marvel will be taking over that franchise.   When he turns Star Wars into SWINO, that enormous group of fans will give him the (figurative) tarring and feathering he deserves for crimes perpetrated against cosmic.

Pretty much nothing happens in this issue except for Scott Summers and Star-Lord’s catharsis about their daddy issues.  What is this obsession with daddy issues?  Are you trying to work something out for yourself Bendis?  If so, please take it up with your analyst and stop inflicting it on the rest of us.  Invite Loeb, Alonso, Wacker, and Brevoort along.  Maybe you can get a group discount.

Of course, more characters return from the dead with no explanation as to how.  Yes – I’m talking Corsair and the Starjammers.  Don’t get me wrong – I ‘m happy to see the Starjammers alive and well.  They and Magik are really the only X-characters I care much about.  I just resent every dead cosmic character being inexplicably resurrected EXCEPT Rich Rider and, of course, Mar-Vell, Genis-Vell, and Phyla-Vell.  Apparently – if you’re a cosmic character and there’s more than one “R” or one “L” in your name, Marvel has some sort of rule stating that you can’t be resurrected.  Not that I want Bendis to have anything to do with resurrecting Rider or any of the Vell’s.  But I would like to see a truly capable cosmic writer (e.g.  DnA, Starlin, Giffen) tell those stories.

Save your money on this one guys.  The GotGINO barely appear in their own book – and when they do they don’t do anything of consequence.  They’re really just Butlers for the A-list X-characters.  Besides, this one is a snooze-fest even by Bendis standards.